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COMMUNICATION - Words are important… how we use them, how others receive them, and how we perceive them.
Someone told me the other day that I was “lucky.” It bothered me a bit, because it was in reference to the Life I CHOOSE to live—my daily choices to have fun, exercise, eat well, travel, expand my Consciousness, and communicate (to the best of my ability) with others.
Lucky??? I know that their choice of this “word” was not meant to offend me, and my goal here is not to quibble incessantly (or victimize) over semantics, but to bring to light HOW and WHY we use and receive certain words…in particular the four words mentioned in the title.
“Lucky” in reference to someone’s hard work, creativity, or proactive choices is, at the least, passive aggressive, and at the most, insulting. “Lucky to win the lottery,” or “Lucky that you didn’t die when your car veered off the cliff,” or as my friend Edward says, “Lucky I didn’t lose my ass at roulette….” all of these seem more plausible uses of the word “lucky,” don’t you think?
I believe in FREE WILL and CHOICES so “luck” doesn’t have much to do with that, although we can view our Life as “fortunate,” our next word. “Fortunate” feels one step closer to NOT being condescending, when describing LIVES LIVED— “Well, aren’t you FORTUNATE?” Not much better really. Lucky and Fortunate are somewhat interchangeable depending on the context.
By itself, “You’re so lucky” sounds a bit more banal than the slightly elevated “You’re so fortunate.” Clarification of WHY one might be considered lucky or fortunate can make all the difference and help ease a potential misinterpretation. For instance:
1) “How lucky you are to have such great parents.”
2) “How fortunate you are to have enjoyed such a well-earned wonderful career.”
Much better, yes? Clarity of WHY one is lucky or fortunate, and a specific acknowledgment to the person makes these words really come to life in a good way. It does require more thought and elaboration, and perhaps 5-10 more seconds, but it is so worth it.
The random use of the word “Blessed” just kind of bothers me these days, especially when it is overused. In this sad age of violence and often hollow “thoughts and prayers,” once sweet acceptable words now have a cringe factor, especially when associated with phony religion and entitled piety. My feeling is, “We all are blessed, and if one constantly expresses feeling “overly blessed” it kind of implies that the rest of us aren’t. And….if one is so blessed, then I think it might be time (and perhaps long overdue) to share those bountiful blessings with others. I definitely prefer, “What a blessing,” to “I am so blessed.”
Ok, ok, again, I don’t think there is horrible intent in the word “blessed,” or “blessing,” and I do still feel a sweetness when the word “blessed” or “blessing” is used kindly and arrogance-free:
1) “Each living Creature is a blessing.”
2) “We are blessed to wake up each day to a beautiful sunrise.”
3) “You are blessed with a wonderful sense of humor!!!”
Now I’m feeling blessed to find beauty again in the word “blessed. See? I’m not so jaded after all, and remember, my goal here is not to instill panic in your word choices, because sometimes we all fumble and can’t find THE word to describe exactly what we are feeling and what we want to say. We all miss sometimes, but that is when you breathe, take a moment, think about it, and instead of an all-too-common, ambiguous, one-word text answer, then, by golly….(POOF!!!) make it a complete sentence that states your thought in a way that will stand a better chance of being heard and understood as you intended.
I hope you are smiling because this conclusion is awesome. Let’s ALL hope for every person to feel lucky, fortunate, and blessed, in all aspects of their lives. And when we all post how grateful we are (#grateful), I hope that we are aware as individuals and as a society that we ALL WIN when others feel as lucky, fortunate, blessed, and grateful as we do. Sharing our thoughts and feelings, boosting others with our dialogue, intentions, and actions will only feed the Higher Good, and make us all truly: #GRATEFUL.
(Scott Cole is an author, speaker, and pioneering wellness motivator. He is a former National Aerobic Champion, star of the iconic Abs of Steel videos, and is the creator of the over 1 million selling Discover Tai Chi series. A regular on tv, you may have seen him on LIVE with Regis and Kelly, The View, The Early Show, CNN Headline News, and more. He has trained Hollywood elite (Christian Bale, Barry Manilow, Suzanne Somers, Gena Lee Nolin) and conducted lectures, workshops, and seminars in 30 countries, and is now focused on helping people MOVE THROUGH and OUT OF Pain, Grief, Addiction, and Hate…..for more on Scott, visit www.ScottCole.com or follow him on Instagram @scott_cole_wellness.)
