ALPERN AT LARGE-You remember that famous two-part episode in the old sit-com Happy Days, when Fonzie jumped over a shark in water skis ... and demonstrably proved that an otherwise funny and smart family-oriented comedy series was running out of ideas? Or is that too far back in the past, back in the 1970's, when obeying the law and living within one's budget was still hip and cool and obvious?
Oh, my, aren't I dating myself... So many of the younger and more evolved readers are so much more adept at navigating their way in the 21st Century, and its associated alternative thinking that gets beyond old-fashioned morals, common sense and seeing the big picture.
Especially since the term "1984" is...well...thirty years old!
Ah yes..."1984" and "Big Brother" and "Groupthink" and "Family Values". Terms and concepts so passé...so ridiculously old-fashioned.
I mean, living within one's means, and government accountability and service to others...boy am I living in the past!
To think that the LAUSD spending $1 billion in school construction bonds for iPads would be perceived as wasteful, filled with inappropriate spending and conflicts of interest. That idea was a success that I just did NOT see coming!
And I'm pretty sure that the tax hikes that Governor Brown and Sacramento sold us on will all be spent very, VERY well--to say nothing about the reform that CalPERS will stick to in their pension funding and policies. Again, that deal...such a success!
So no need to sweat that recent backtracking by CalPERS on their previously-promised, governor-brokered pension reform, right? I'm guessing an old fogey like me will be the only one silly enough to think it was a bait and switch in THIS enlightened state.
Because there's a pension reform measure on this ballot that the Democratic mayor of San Jose, and all the other mayors, are promoting, right?
(Wait, it somehow did NOT make it to the ballot?)
Or could it be that the LAUSD and our state's public sector unions have jumped the shark on moving beyond the reasonable and compromising and entered into the realm of the ridiculous and inappropriate?
Hmmm...that last question's a toughie. Perhaps that attitude and concern, like the memory of Fonzie jumping the shark, is just sooooo 20th century!
How about the illegal alien--er, undocumented immigrant--problem? We've fixed THAT problem now, I guess.
Because now that we're allowing families broken up by our choice to deport the undocumented to be reunited...and the old 20th century attitudes of acknowledging that those families were the law-breakers, and that employers of illegal aliens are knowingly breaking the law?
We've fixed that--because the undocumented and their employers are the REAL heroes in California.
They keep native-born and legal immigrants comfortable, employed, with access to ever-higher wages and allow us as many state resources to education, health services and traffic/mobility as we could ever dream of.
They're no longer illegal, and they're no longer aliens, so...PROBLEM SOLVED!
(Of course, perhaps WE'RE illegal, and WE'RE ALIENS, so maybe WE'VE jumped the shark and WE better change our act!)
Maybe THAT's why it's called the DREAM act...because it's an American/Californian "dream" come true.
And that whole not-enough-water-to-meet-the-needs-of-those-already-living-here attitude? So 20th century! The influx of millions entering our state isn't Sacramento jumping the shark, is it?
And the President of Mexico telling us that California is his "other Mexico" and Governor Brown urging a world where Tijuana-to-San Diego access is only 20 minutes, when it takes over an hour to get from Santa Monica to West L.A.? No jumping the shark into impropriety, there!
{module [862]}
{module [662]}
Nope, we've got plenty of mobility, water, infrastructure and financial resources, to say nothing of a burgeoning middle class, to accommodate any and all new takers!
The LADWP, city and county and state unions taking a pay cut or even a freeze while we're demanded to pay more in taxes and rates...prima facie, that's just crazy talk! Because government is here to help, to represent, to protect and take care of us--Sacramento and Los Angeles isn't jumping the shark, we're just ingrateful!
Because the idea of Big Government and Big Brother and Political Correctness and 1984 and Socialism is nerd-talk best left to the "ancients" who don't understand the complexities and realities of our new, improved modern-day world.
So...nope, nothing to see here. We're doing fine--the weather is beautiful and the sun is still shining.
No shark-jumping here, or in Sacramento, or in any other one-party city or state of this marvelous nation of ours! Concluding that we've jumped the shark into a nightmarish Hell of our own making is just despair and mean-spirited...
... because, after all, What Would Jesus Do? Jesus would do exactly what Sacramento and all the other living-large city governments like Los Angeles would do (after all, they know exactly what Jesus stood for, and what Jesus stands for today).
Whoops--gotta go to work! Fortunately, there are no more traffic, no more financial problems in my way--and ditto for my rich, fat-cat neighbors.
Yes, my neighbors and neighborhood council constituents and patients all seem to complain about two jobs and 40+ hour work weeks needed to pay their ever-rising bills, but they're in Heaven and they just don't realize it.
We're all in Heaven. HEAVEN, I tell you!
It's just that some of us who remember what "Happy Days" and "old-fashioned, tried-and-true, common sense ideals" were haven't been brought to speed...and haven't gotten with the program...to recognize that the memory of those ideals has...well...jumped the shark!
...and maybe, on my way to work, I can ask myself, "What Would Fonzie Do?"
(Ken Alpern is a Westside Village Zone Director and Board member of the Mar Vista Community Council (MVCC), previously co-chaired its Planning and Outreach Committees, and currently is Co-Chair of its MVCC Transportation/Infrastructure Committee. He is co-chair of the CD11 Transportation Advisory Committee and chairs the nonprofit Transit Coalition, and can be reached at [email protected] . He also does regular commentary on the Mark Isler Radio Show on AM 870, and co-chairs the grassroots Friends of the Green Line at www.fogl.us. The views expressed in this article are solely those of Mr. Alpern.)
-cw
CityWatch
Vol 12 Issue 70
Pub: Aug 29, 2014
