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PUBLIC SQUARE - Donald Trump recently responded to a reporter’s query about a job he’d like to have, musing that he’d like to be “the Pope.” Almost immediately, an image appeared on the White House website portraying the President in full-dress papal regalia. A few days later, on May 4th, the same site treated us to an image of the President posing as a Star Wars Storm Trooper wielding a light saber.
A substantial and impressive cohort of Catholics strenuously objected to the Pope image, decrying its crassness in the immediate aftermath of Pope Francis’s passing. Initially, Trump said that Catholics “loved” the image but soon pivoted to denying all knowledge of the incident, saying he “knew nothing” about it. He hasn’t, yet, denied any connection to the storm trooper image, undoubtedly because the only outcry it generated was from Star Wars aficionados who claimed he was displaying the wrong color saber.
Both images are part of a campaign launched by the White House to generate better press coverage. The White House communications team are posting their own “news” as a means of by-passing legitimate media.
Denials to the contrary, the scheme does appear to divert attention away from the news the President doesn’t want anybody talking about. Since both images quickly went vital, the strategy clearly has enormous potential.
If the White House is annoyed by persistent efforts from a variety of critics claiming that his economic policies are a disaster, the solution is simple: Post a portrait of President Trump as King Midas. After all, just about everything he touches turns to gold. Medallions, bitcoins, a parade, “Million Dollar Citizenship Gold Cards,” even the commercially sponsored Easter Egg Hunt all generate more income. In addition to portraying the President as the source of all wealth, the outfit would also include a crown, an accoutrement which the President clearly coverts.
As the prices of a dozen eggs and just about everything else people consume remain far too high, the White House should turn the boss into the Maytag Repair Man. Everything is “great,” “beautiful,” and “Perfect” so rest assured; there is no need for repairs.
An increasing number of retail and digital stores are concerned that the combination of tariffs and a regressing economy will depress the supply of Christmas gifts and the ability to pay for the dwindling number of ever-more costly toys. No Problem! Just have the President appear as the amiable Toys “R” Us mascot Geoffrey Giraffe and nobody will notice the sadness of the holiday. In this case, of course, critics may seize the opportunity to dredge up The Grinch and Scrooge, but that will only amplify the distracting noise, diverting our attention once again.
Finally, the White House can, at last, address President’s open and consuming contempt for all those pesky courts which continue to deny the legality of a sizable catalog of his initiatives. It will take but one striking image: Donald Trump as King Solomon. His wisdom (it’s “HUGE!”) dictates cleaving an infant in half. The infant may die, but nobody will ever again doubt that the President is indeed, the one and only dispenser of justice.
Mission Accomplished.
David M. Hamlin is a writer whose work often explores civil liberties and civil rights and, on occasion, finds folly with those in power.
