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ALPERN AT LARGE - I admit to wondering what the heck President Trump was playing at when he suggested that the United States would disarm, depopulate, de-bomb, de-mine, and rebuild the Gaza Strip.
Was he wondering how Americans would respond? Was he prodding local Arab nations to step up, claim, and govern this war-shattered coastline strip? Was he just jerking our collective chain?
All of the above?
But it did get me to thinking what sort of hotels would be spawned along this once-beautiful strip of beachfront property overlooking the eastern shores of the Mediterranean Sea.
Here’s what we might see:
#1: Motel Six Feet Under (Three-For-One Special on Burial Costs!)
#2: Daze Inn (Endorsed by 9/10 Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Patients!)
#3: Gaza-to-Greenland Cruise Line Port Hotel (Perfect to embark upon, or recover from, one of the TrumpLand Cruiseline Tours)
#4: Knifeblade Hilt-In (Free hand-to-hand fighting workshops, including Krav-Maga!)
#5: MAGA Motel (Free tickets with every 3-day stay to the adjacent Trump Museum and the MAGA Mall!)
#6: Hotel Hades (Choose between one of the many below-ground suites connected by free tunnel trams!)
#7: Hostage Hotel (Captivating extended stays that are often of no cost to those staying beyond a year!)!
#8: Hostile Hostel (First-come, first-serve the best deals for those go-getters wanting “that little extra”, like food and health care…but those deals aren’t guaranteed!)
#9: Four Seasons U.N. Gaza (Enjoy the lap of luxury, paid for by “someone else”, without any rules or cost considerations!)
#10: Hamas Bed & Breakfast Inn (Best for those looking for a more homey feel to their stay, except without the bed or the breakfast!)
Will it be Montecarlo? The French Riviera? The Bates Motel?
Definitely an amazing and out-of-the-box idea coming from the White House…because things just are NOT surreal enough in the world!
(Kenneth S. Alpern, M.D, is a dermatologist who has served in clinics in Los Angeles, Orange, and Riverside Counties, and is a proud husband and father. He was active for 20 years on the Mar Vista Community Council (MVCC) as a Board Member focused on Planning and Transportation, and helped lead the grassroots efforts of the Expo Line as well as connecting LAX to MetroRail. His latest project is his fictional online book entitled The Unforgotten Tales of Middle-Earth, and can be reached at . The views expressed in this article are solely those of Dr. Alpern.)
