28
Sun, Apr

#MeToo … Too Far

SAY WHAT?

1) #MeToo Absurdity. Netflix crew members, on hit shows, are now banned from lingering hugs, asking for phone numbers and the "piece de re-sis-tance" looking at one another for more than five seconds. Anonymous sources claim all employees will be issued stop watches so they never go over the 5 second limit. 


2) Another seat in Darwin's Waiting Room has just been filled. Douglas Peter Kelly called the Sheriff's Office in Putnam County FL. telling the deputy had a violent reaction after smoking what he thought was speed. He thought it might have been something else and he wanted to press charges against his dealer. He drove to the office and asked them to "test" his purchase. It turned out it was speed and Douglas said he wouldn't be pressing charges. The police however, DID press charges against Douglas for possession.

Speaking of Darwin, Stephan Hawking's remains have been laid to rest between Charles Darwin and Sir Isaac Newton in Westminster Abby.

3) A ban on Upskirting failed in the U.K. by one vote, The ban could have resulted in a 2 year sentence. For the uninitiated, Upskirting is the formal name for taking a picture up a woman's skirt without consent. Not sure how this is accomplished. Is a camera placed on the end of a pole or does 
the "photographer" just lie on the sidewalk, with his camera, and wait for the woman to walk over him.

4) The new "Ocean's 8" with an all female cast got the old "Mixed Reviews." One of the actresses in the film said the mixed reviews were because a majority of film critics are men. She thinks there should be more female reviewers, who would be more qualified, to review movies featuring women. How about reviewing "Superhero" movies? The only ones really qualified to review them are 14 old boys. Speaking of reviews, in his review of the new mob movie "Gotti", New York Post reviewer, Johnny Oleksinski wrote, "I'd rather wake up next to a severed horse head than watch "Gotti" again. Now that's a review.

5) The Center For Research and Take-Out has listed the people who are always in public and are always tiresome and irritating. They include those endlessly "outraged and offended" or "disappointed" others that are always demanding "apologies and retractions" and the need for "investigations" of someone, anyone, anything. This group does seem a bit top heavy with politicians and pundits. 

(Tom Murphy is a writer, humorist, actor, disc jockey and an occasional contributor to CityWatch. He lives in Los Angeles.)

-cw

 

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