Who Will Be America’s Next Top Old White Man?

ABE WON’T BE SILENT - The race is on for America’s Next Top Old White Man to run against Joe Biden for President in 2024. Asa Hutchinson, Donald Trump, and Joe Manchin think they deserve the votes from moderate Democrats coupled with non-MAGA Republicans, and that’s the winning formula. This political action group, No Labels, is trying to mix things up, and quite frankly, they can go fly a kite if Asa Hutchinson and Joe Manchin are their ideas of a good time. Seems as though they are relying on—correction—assuming that young progressives and black men won’t vote in 2024, which will usher one of these old codgers into the White House. My codger of choice is Dark Brandon. Since it is so early in the game of chance, I refuse to give them or the POTUS race too much airtime. Why? Because it is all based on polls. And you know how I feel about polls. Let’s face it, many of our problems, No Labels being one of them, tracks back to the ratcheted-up public discourse that is plaguing our nation. Both parties are guilty of spewing nonsense, aka political correctness. Who can say what, and who gets canceled for saying that? 

The blight of political correctness is plaguing our culture, and frankly, it has always nauseated me. In fact, let us time travel back to my blog, I Mean…What?!?, circa 2010, when blogs were a thing. Kinda like what Substack is now, only it’s not the word blog, which has never been a pretty word. That’s why Anna Wintour at Vogue refused to have a blog for the magazine. It sounded too downmarket. I mean…say the words ‘Vogue blog’ ten times fast. Do you see? It’s horrendous. But shall we, for the fun of it, go back in time to my old post and see how I felt about all this shit?

THIS WAS POSTED ORIGINALLY IN NOVEMBER OF 2010

The End of Political Correctness 

Political Correctness is a danger to us all! Over the last few decades, we have become curiously, annoyingly, and extremely politically correct, and certain words have become absolutely taboo. That which was once acceptable is now considered offensive, and there are times when you don’t know what to say for fear of offending anyone or everyone around you. In the early 1970s, I was bussed to an all–black high school. “Black” was the acceptable term then, whereas now, “African-American” is the new black, replacing what was once the new “colored.” My ancestors are from Russia and Poland. Do I walk around saying I am Russian-American, or worse, Polish-American? We are caught in the quagmire of what is the “right thing to say,” and quite frankly, I see no light at the end of this tunnel – not even a glimmer.

The expression “politically correct” or “political correctness” can be traced back to 1920s Germany, when communist academia sought to impose their views on students. The term became more frequently used in the 1960s and 1970s by suburban bleeding-heart liberals, feminists, and progressives who were intent on impacting the media while leaving an emotional imprint on the Baby Boomer generation. As Boomers became adults, they clung to the notion of being “politically correct,” however, adapting some of the initial ideas to surprisingly new and often meticulously planned-out hidden agendas.

What we now have is a wide-ranging group of hypocrites in charge of the media and most industries, where everyone is expected to play nice in the sandbox. The climate of corporate politics suggests that you “keep your head down” while those in higher positions do as they say, regarding dubious hiring practices, stealing, or worse, illegal activities as in the case of the banking culture and, while I am at it, the Catholic Church. I refer to this group as the “nouveau-hypocritical.” In light of the recent attempted terrorist attack on Christmas Day in Detroit by Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab (a.k.a. “The Underwear Bomber”), there’s a renewed outcry for stricter airport screening regarding “certain types,” or, as it is more commonly referred to, racial profiling. Then again, at the risk of sounding like a total bigot, is that actually such a bad idea? The Muslim Public Affairs Council calls racial profiling unconstitutional. But from where I’m sitting, it is equally unconstitutional to sew explosives into your Calvins to bring a plane down on Christmas Day.

When Richard Reid (a.k.a. “The Shoe Bomber”) was captured, we automatically started checking everyone’s shoes… even old ladies’ with large, unsightly corns. Umar’s bomb was hidden in his underwear, so now what? Will security guards start pulling down our pants? Random wedgies? There’s some fancy detective work for you. Isn’t it easier to identify a certain type of individual that we can all look at cross-eyed? The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) is claiming invasion of privacy and rejecting the controversial full-body scans. Feel free to check out my ass to secure safe passage. How about that recent case in Saudi Arabia where an Al-Qaeda member stashed an explosive in his anal cavity. What next, proctologists moonlighting for the sake of airport security? Immediately after 9-11, while working with a writer on her promotional book tour, we had to continue the planned nine-city schedule. This involved several plane rides, one of which was to Kentucky, where one of the reported terrorists had lived. Believe me; we were doing our own version of racial profiling aplenty. It was more anecdotal than a serious bid to rid evildoers, but I found much comfort in giving the evil eye to a host of “certain types.” Was I being politically incorrect? Thank you.

When Oscar de la Renta said, “You don’t go to Buckingham Palace in a sweater,” after Michelle Obama wore exactly that while visiting the Queen of England, it was the day the fashion planet came to a standstill in shock and awe. Political incorrectness hit an all-time high. During the presidential campaign, the fashion brigades declared Michelle Obama the next Jackie O. I never got that comparison from the get-go. Did that make her more palatable somehow? Was she now the “politically correct” wife? Every designer, editor, and publicist started tripping over themselves to schmooze their way into the good graces of the Obama camp and Michelle’s closet. But here is where political correctness got in the way of why Michelle Obama was amazing way before Vogue’s André Leon Talley introduced her to “fashion society.” The fashion industry was thrust on Michelle for publicity, but what makes her so dynamic has nothing to do with frocks. That was Jackie’s strength. Michelle is a bright career woman and super mom who, besides her arms and dresses, made great choices, such as supporting military families and raising awareness of children’s health and obesity issues. And we all know how much the fashion industry loves that, hoping they never have to see another fatty for generations to come.

As we have evolved (for lack of a better term) as a society, our language has become more prudish, and the return to our puritan roots seems to have accelerated. No longer are we allowed to say what we really feel for fear of being excommunicated from the fashion flock, distanced from our peers, or worse, being considered “out” by the “in” crowd.  Our language has shifted exponentially. There are expressions you can no longer say and, on the same token, things that you must say…or else! Here is a list of the most important ones to ensure you stay politically correct in these confusing times:

1. Worldwide, no-no is the N-word unless you are one.
2. People with intellectual disabilities can no longer be called Retarded. Whereas I find it most applicable in the case of Umar, that retarded member of the Lucky Sperm Club who tried blowing up Flight 253 on Christmas Day.
3. African-American, Asian-American, Latino-American, Corporate-American.
4. Child-Obesity is the politically correct term for Fat Kid these days. As an ex-fatty, call me fatso any day over “You obese thing.”
5. Tranny hookers now must be referred to as Transgender Sex Workers. As a past resident of the Meatpacking District in New York City back in the 1990s, I can assure you; “tranny hooker” is how they referred to themselves. It was the uber-political correct LGBT Community Center that put that glamorous title onto them and consequently killed their business.
6. Homosexuals became really Gay around the time of the Stonewall Riots in 1969, birthing the Gay Rights movement. Whereas in England, Fags are the correct term for cigarettes.
7. The women’s equality movement escalated in the 1970s, demanding equal pay for equal work, which also birthed the Bitch in the Workplace.
8. Midgets must now be called Little People, even in the Wonderful Land of Oz and Munchkin Land.
9. Secretaries needed an ego boost, and the only option was a title instead of a raise, so they settled for Administrative Assistant, which sure beats Mistress.
10. Housewives, once they heard that their husband’s secretaries were getting a verbal promotion, quickly jumped on the bandwagon and demanded to be called Domestic Engineers.
11. Those who survive Fucked Up Upbringings, which is most of us, can now say we came from Dysfunctional Families.
12. Someone Crippled became Handicapped, which evolved into Disabled, and now is officially Physically Challenged…until that will be simply unacceptable.

No matter what you say or do, there is always a 50% chance that you will be utterly, terribly, and embarrassingly wrong. So, either we stop talking and communicating altogether or, rather, say whatever we want and let the chips fall where they may.

(ABE GURKO is the executive producer of a documentary “Won’t Be Silent,” about the extraordinary Women of Protest Music. He's an Opinionator who hosts a podcast, "Conversations From the Edge of Democracy," that discusses the current state of our fragile political landscape. Abe is a contributor to CityWatchLA.com. [email protected].  Abe’s opinions are his own and not necessarily those of CityWatchLA.com)

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