ALPERN AT LARGE-Every once in a while, life throws you a reminder--a gut punch--that forces a revisitation of all that is good and all that is precious in life. In my case, it's learning after a Thanksgiving family weekend at the Legoland Hotel that one of my closest friends in medical school, Dr. David Lane Brown, died after a recurring battle with lung cancer.
That David didn't smoke perhaps makes his demise all the more startling. That David was smiling and positive all the way to the end was so very typical of him. Similar to two other med school classmates from Galveston, William Todd Midgett and Kenny Cross--who also died ridiculously young--David was invariably likable and befriended by all who knew him.
So it might indeed prove true that "only the good die young". Which leaves the rest of us...where?
As a physician (even in a specialty such as dermatology), I regularly confront death and its impacts on those family members and friends who are left behind. Unfortunately, the more wonderful a person is when he/she goes, the more painful it is when he/she departs--the sadness and emptiness following a loved one's departure is usually commensurate to how wonderful that person was.
I frankly wish that I was more like David, a child/adolescent psychiatrist who cared about society's issues but chose not to take life too seriously. He focused on family, and he was always upbeat--I wish I could say the same. He was never one to tolerate nonsense, but he didn't let such nonsense consume him.
I'd like to think he was more content to exist within the silliness in the world--unlike yours truly, who'd use concerns and outrage about such silliness to be a driving force for a host of CityWatch LA articles and neighborhood initiatives such as transportation. I kind of wish that I could shrug my shoulders and let nonsense go, but I figure that someone's gotta try and change things up a little.
So I'm thrilled about the Expo Line, and a future with a Green/Crenshaw Line connection to LAX. I'm thrilled about Mayor Garcetti's successful ability to preserve the Kinksharyo rail car contract (with modifications) in Palmdale. I'm thrilled that the 405/101 interchange and 405 freeway-widening projects, so daunting and undone a decade ago, are either finished or near-finished.
And I'm concerned about the lack of parking, the plethora of overdevelopment that has little or nothing to do with affordable housing or transit-oriented business, environmental improvements, pedestrian-friendly and livable streets, unaffordable solar energy schemes and lack of open space in LA. I'm equally concerned about feel-good, ill-thought and politically-correct governmental policies that destroy our collective quality of life.
But is my raising the issues and/or activism done with a smile, and does it enhance my relationships with my family, my friends and my patients?
Maybe, and maybe not. Both. Neither. Depends. Who knows, since I can't speak for other people?
All I know is that I've lost another good friend, and the world's lost another good man. As with all those I've lost at a very young age, I'll continue to agonize over the right way to live every day of my life--a day from which they've been cheated.
I just had a great and all-too-short Thanksgiving Weekend. A great dinner spent with family, and a great weekend getaway spent with family. Meanwhile, the world kept spinning just fine without my tirades and causes. Idiots remained idiots, and heroes remained heroes--in our city, in our state, in our nation and in our world.
So I'm grateful, and still hopeful, and filled with thanks beyond Thanksgiving. Thanks to David Lane Brown, and to all those who loved life but (despite their amazing achievements) didn't appear to take life too seriously, and who appeared to be quite happy through it all. I've not a doubt that I'm the only one grateful you played a role in my life.
I just hope that my own achievements, and my own ability to lighten up and focus on family, will be worthy of your excellent examples.
(Ken Alpern is a Westside Village Zone Director and Board member of the Mar Vista Community Council (MVCC), previously co-chaired its Planning and Outreach Committees, and currently is Co-Chair of its MVCC Transportation/Infrastructure Committee. He is co-chair of the CD11Transportation Advisory Committee and chairs the nonprofit Transit Coalition, and can be reached at [email protected] He also does regular commentary on the MarkIsler Radio Show on AM 870, and co-chairs the grassroots Friends of the Green Line at www.fogl.us. The views expressed in this article are solely those of Mr. Alpern.)
CityWatch
Vol 12 Issue 97
Pub: Dec 2, 2014