#1. A Staten Island school has canceled the Father-Daughter dance that was scheduled in February. The reason is that ‘Father-Daughter’ excludes all the other many genders.
So to include everyone and not to offend anyone the dance is now called "The Whatever You Are-Whatever You Might Think You Are Dance" (Not fake story.)
#2. At a recent town hall meeting Canadian PMJustin Tredeau interrupted a woman who said "mankind" telling her to say "peoplekind" which is more inclusive. Actually Justin had been considering adding to his PC Bona Fides by using "peoplekind" or "personkind." when the opportunity came up.
He took a poll to decide which would make him sound less like a Politically Correct Idiot. It appears "peoplekind" polled better but it didn't help.
#3. While the Patriots did not win a 6th Super Bowl, LA did win a 6th Worst Congestion Title. We won over 1360 cities in 38 countries.
Seriously, MUST we be #1 at everything? !!!
#4. A Terre Haute man, who was ticketed after "flipping off" an Indiana State Trooper, has filed a Federal Lawsuit claiming "flipping off" is a First Amendment right. His lawyer says while his action was ill advised it was still constitutional. So now we might be able to add "flipping off" to the growing list of rights that individuals, groups and judges keep discovering in the Constitution that nobody had ever noticed before. Author’s note: I not only consider this a constitutional right, I’m performing it right now. Offering the ‘flip’ to all who would continue to waster the people’s time on this non-crisis.
#5. Scientists have revealed that meditation doesn't make you a calmer person. The Buddhist practice leaves people just as aggressive and prejudiced. Research in the UK, New Zealand and The Netherlands showed no change in how adults behave towards others. So it's possible meditation is just a pleasant way to kill some time.
(Tom Murphy is a writer, humorist, actor, disc jockey and an occasional contributor to CityWatch. He lives in Los Angeles.)