CERDAFIED - I was lucky to be raised by the type of mother who asked us to discover our inner truth and find our own moral Geiger counter. She led us by example, to ask questions, seeking to understand the individual, and recognizing that we are part of the collective. She was an activist, a leader, a calm voice of reason, and it was evident by the diversity of the people in our lives.
During the 50’s and 60’s the country was in turmoil over race relations, gay acceptance, welfare rights, women’s rights and other social injustices. Very similar to now! As a woman she was expected to “hold her tongue”. My mother could not be silent. For a woman, keeping your opinion to yourself on such matters was required by Middle America. Men would tell her, “Don’t worry your pretty little head over these things, let the men folk handle it.”
Only men weren’t “worrying their pretty heads” over the issues, they were operating from an instinctive mob mentality. Their debates were more centered on which form of brute force should be utilized, not on whether the “issue was legitimate.”
You would be mistaken to believe my mom was a feminist. She wouldn’t have identified her self as one. Though she loved powerful women like Gloria Steinem, she was the type of women who liked to serve her man, and loved all the entrapments of womanhood. I could only describe her as, part Marilyn Monroe and part Mahatma Gandhi. Her soft sultry voice full of wisdom always evoked a double take.
She inspired so many people as an activist, and was most often the spokesperson at the rally, sit in or march. She knew instinctively the tone needed to accomplish their goals and she would bring the proper weapon to battle. What she lacked in confidence she more than made up for it in determination and persistence. I got that from her. I can’t help but think of her when I see a moral crisis looming ahead.
My mother and I don’t agree on everything, but she never required her children to have like minds, only that we be honest, open and empathetic. In order for us to develop those traits, we were asked as teens to write essays on various issues that presented themselves. After much soul searching and writing, we would read them to her and she would ask us questions about our conclusions and assertions. Once she felt we had made a solid argument for our cause she would compliment us and then send us back to write the rebuttal to our essay.
At first, I thought the rebuttal was requested because I must have come to the wrong conclusion. Eventually, I realized that she wanted her children to understand the motivation of others.
It was so difficult to put the heart and mind in reverse and sympathize with another persons ideologies that many would consider a racist, misogynist, sociopath, or at the very least a simpleton.
To my mother, the dialogue was important. It became apparent that she was nurturing our empathetic souls and opening our minds to the full discourse despite our pubescent resistance. I admit now, it was an insightful process. A process I use on my grandchildren now.
Women bring more than their mind to a debate; they often bring a glimpse of their heart. I know how important the voice of a woman is. All across the world, she is the sound of encouragement, of praise, of temperance and insight. She encircles your life as your mother, daughter, sister, wife, and friend. A woman tempers the glass, so to speak. It’s why women do well in law enforcement, despite former resistance from men. As we have stepped away from traditional law enforcement stereotypes, we have improved the image of law enforcement, and as a result, community relations have improved substantially.
Unfortunately, the halls of the Senate and the House are brimming with men of that older generation who don’t want women to “worry their pretty little heads” over complex issues, especially when those issues include women’s reproduction and health and the lack of parity when it comes to funding the sexes health care.
These misogynistic Neanderthals have been jamming anti-women legislation through the political system with a new vigor for the past decade. It would be too easy to blame Republicans, just because they write the bills and their votes out numbered Democrats in this assault on women, but the reality is… misogyny trumps party lines.
Certainly a man’s opinion on the issue of abortion is not the filter by which one determines if you’re a misogynistic man. But if you would approve these issues below, you just might be a red neck, I mean a misogynist.
Let’s look at just a few examples of misogynistic legislation and thinking.
• Indiana Rep. Dan Burton proposed two bills, one bill eliminating funds for federal family planning, and one bill to provide contraception for wild horses. That’s sad enough but he gives us this added bonus. He is the same man who had an extramarital affair and fathered a child out of wedlock. Clearly contraception should be on his mind.
• In South Dakota, Republicans proposed a bill that could make it legal to murder anyone who injures or threatens a fetus, including a doctor who provides abortion care and the mother. I guess condoning and spending billions for drone attacks on women and children is less repugnant than abortion. It’s not life they wish to save, it’s the personal belief system of individual women they want to destroy
• A Georgia state legislator wants to change the legal term for victims of rape, stalking, and domestic violence to "accuser." But victims of other crimes, like robbery, would remain "victims." We would like to see this legislator in the pen with “Bubba” so he can be an “accuser” instead of a “victim”.
• Republicans have actually tried to redefine rape and exclude drugging a woman and raping her, or getting her drunk and raping her. I never knew how difficult it was for Republicans to get a sexual partner. May I suggest they read “The Sensuous Man.”
• Republicans want to cut nearly a billion dollars of food and other aid to low-income pregnant women, mothers, babies, and kids. Payments to corporations to not grow food is still in the budget. Subsidies to corporate billionaires still in the budget. Let’s not forget the horses have contraception too.
• Mandated transvaginal ultrasound laws passed in several states require that a woman have and pay for an unneeded ultrasound before a legal abortion. I would personally pay for the rectal exam of every aye vote on this legislation.
• Wisconsin State Senator Glenn Grothman, introduced a bill requiring that the state’s Child Abuse and Protection Board label single parents, the vast majority women, as a major factor contributing to “child abuse and neglect”. You can’t argue with this genius because he also said that women make less money than men because “men like money more”. I rest my case.
• A revised version of the Violence Against Women Act was passed that will turn back key provisions that help victims of domestic abuse. It discourages undocumented immigrant women from reporting abuse, leaving the threat of being deported over their heads. Native American women will find it more difficult to seek justice against their abusers. The LGBT community was left out altogether.
• Raped military women were not provided federally funded abortions, but raped postal workers and federally employed women are. Only recently amended. Watch trailer for “The invisible War”. Stats are that 4 out of ten military women are raped.
• Arizona’s legislature, House Bill 2625 gives employers the right to fire women if they use birth control “for contraceptive, abortifacient, abortion or sterilization purposes” that goes against the employer’s moral objections. Frequent and quite common sexual harassment isn’t enough stress on the job, now we have to ask that unethical buffoon how he feels about our reproductive status. I can see how workplace violence may increase.
• With 1 in 3 women financially struggling, (because women don’t like money) buying birth control can be difficult because more forms of birth control still require a prescription, and an annual doctor visit. However, GOP candidate Rick Santorum believes insurance shouldn’t cover birth control and feels there is no barrier to access. Thus his nickname “Sanitarium”.
That list clearly filters the misogynists from ordinary men.
Oklahoma State Senator Constance Johnson has stated that, “ I am increasingly offended by state law trends that solely focus on the female’s role in the reproductive process.” She further stated that she “seeks to draw attention to the absurdity, duplicity and lack of balance inherent in the policies of this state in regard to women.”
Women outnumber men, we vote more than men, we live longer than men, and if we formed a third party, we could get a few things changed around the White House, and I’m not talking about the drapery.
State Rep. Rashida Tlaib, D-Detroit, recommended that women should consider withholding sex from their partners until the Legislature stops producing bills that threaten women’s rights, health, and freedom of choice.
My thinking on this issue is, why punish good men? Give them extra servings. Women, you know if you’re married to a misogynistic throw back. (Throw back – a disappointing catch or small fish) I bet you already gave up on the sex life with a misogynist … so hit his wallet instead. Every time he approves anti-women legislation you put his money in your newly opened Cayman Islands Account. (How to open a Cayman account here.)
Think of it as proving that women do indeed love money nearly as much as men. Only we won’t start a false war, rob our allies of their resources, and bailout billionaires like men might.
We may never see the logic in removing bibles and prayers from schools but delivering them to convicts in prisons. We may never claim global warming is caused by cow farts and people when every planet in our solar system has higher global temperatures. Women are just built this way I guess.
Silencing our elected female leaders may seem like a good idea at the time, but I can guarantee you, every coffee cup served to you better be at the hands of a male or you may get a taste a of females revenge. Yep … women can be built that way too.
Additional links.
"'Forcible Rape' Language Remains In Bill To Restrict Abortion Funding," The Huffington Post, February 9, 2011
"Extreme Abortion Coverage Ban Introduced," Center for American Progress, January 20, 2011
“Facts on American Teens' Sexual and Reproductive Health.”
“Female Democrats silenced over women’s rights issues.”
(Lisa Cerda is a contributor to CityWatch, a community activist, Chair of Tarzana Residents Against Poorly Planned Development, and former Tarzana Neighborhood Council board member.) –cw
CityWatch
Vol 10 Issue 50
Pub: June 22, 2012